The Bulletproof Fallacy

If we wind the clock back to May of 2016, you’ll find me starting to explore the wide world of Toyota 4x4s. At the time, I had decided to move platforms from my JKU. I wanted a compromise between the offroad capability of the Jeeps I’d had over the years, and the storage/utility capabilities of my previous full size pickups. I thought I’d give a 1st gen Tacoma a shot and see what all the fuss was about with Yotas.

I managed to get through both front wheel bearings in the first six months. Those, of course, have to be pressed (20 tons+) into the knuckle on that era of Yota 4x4. The driveshaft carrier bearing went tits-up on Hwy 24 right before Woodland Park on the way to Keystone. That was a fun teeth-rattling trip there and back. Battery died. A set of outer tie rod ends. A tie rod boot. All of this on a setup only sporting a front bumper, skids, and sliders for extra weight. Turning on a light set of 285/70-17 6 ply Cooper ATPs, followed by a light set of 255/80-17 ST Maxxes. But I ran it all the way to 180K miles and had a blast doing it.

When I went searching for its replacement, I decided I’d get into a late-model 2nd gen Taco that would provide some more creature comforts and presentability (the blown out fiberglass rear fender made the first gen an interesting commuter). I wasn’t having much luck finding what I wanted, and then one night I just kinda fell into the FJC. But the important thing was that it was a Toyota. Therefore, it was bulletproof. Right?

From 62K to 134K miles, I've done the following:

  • 4 OEM CV axles (plus a couple sets of branch auto parts store knockoffs)

  • 2 OEM wheel bearings/hubs (replaced both sides simultaneously)

  • 2 ball joints for SPC UCAs (replaced both)

  • 4 tie rod outers

  • 1 inner diff oil gasket seal

  • 1 hard brake line

  • 2 calipers (one leaking piston, one seized)

  • Full suspension (ToyTec Boss coilover sheared in Moab; replaced with OME Heavy)

  • Zero point calibration going out of wack; needed to be reset

Bulbs, belt, plugs, fluids, etc. as well, of course. If I had to pay a shop to do this shit, the FJC would've taken me to the poorhouse by now. Even with correct geometry and OEM or stronger purpose-built parts, it's still a 4x4...and for that reason, issues will arise. Expecting to avoid that stuff because the vehicle is made by a specific company is a line of thinking that only leads to disappointment. Nothing is infallible in the world of friction and load-based mechanical systems.

It’s a harsh reality that I keep denying whenever the vehicle acts up again, and the consistent failures/maintenance, especially over the last 18 months or so, has really worn me down. I often find myself bitter or annoyed at replacing things that I wouldn’t have had to replace on other vehicles…despite the fact that those vehicles are inherently different. On the days where I have reached my wit’s end with the shortcomings of IFS and begin reminiscing about my past solid axle trucks, I selectively ignore the days I was ready to burn them down to the frame just the same. Sure, 35s wouldn’t chew up the front end of my Ford OBS…but then again, the FJC hasn’t blown up the rear spider gears, either (knock on wood). Maybe the Taco’s whimpy 3.4L couldn’t even climb a hill at 9K feet without needing 4Low…but the ZJ’s electrical system is a paranoid schizophrenic with a machine gun. You see where this is going.

It’s easy to get flustered and swear off that “goddamn piece of shit” forever. You’ll swear you’re going to put it up for sale and never touch it again in the morning. You’ll ask why you ever bothered. You’ll regret ever getting into it at all. And a week later, you’ll be back behind the wheel on the way to a mountain hideout again. Owning a lifted 4x4 is as much a relationship as a marriage or kids. You’ll hurt each other, you’ll make mistakes, and you’ll make yourself vulnerable to the power it has over you. And like a relationship, you can’t let unrealistic idealizations from other people shape your expectations. Learn to appreciate the flaws and failures, and treat them as learning opportunities. No one ever gained proficiency in trail repairs or driveway fixes without some blood, sweat, and tears along the way.

-JOSH